My IVF Story to Motherhood: Dayna Lee
*Disclaimer: Mama Mio wants you to be aware that this article includes topics around infertility and IVF, and therefore it may be triggering for some.
We spoke to Dayna Lee from @artsandfood about her IVF journey to motherhood and the struggles she faced while trying to conceive her twin girls. Here is her story:
I cannot wait to be a mother.
I have always wanted a big family and I have always dreamed of what it would be like. The idea of creating little humans who are the combination of my husband and myself has always made me feel overwhelmed with joy. I’ve always wondered what our kids would be like and who they would eventually become. I always dreamed of loud family dinners, fantastic vacations and so much stress that you can’t help but laugh hysterically.
I always believed that my journey towards motherhood would be simple, as my mothers’ was before me.
A few months of trying and presto! However, life always tends to have other plans. It took us two years of trying but as I write this, I can finally say that we are expecting twin baby girls very soon!
My journey to parenthood was not a linear process.
After three rounds of IVF, two failed transfers, countless medications, unexplained answers, random tests to “figure it out”, hundreds of needles and so much more, I am still trying to process the stress, anxiety and trauma that I put myself through. It was an emotional and draining few years to say the least. But even through the heartaches and difficult times, we never lost hope that we would eventually have our miracle.
I never in a million years thought this would be “my journey” towards motherhood.
As a young and healthy couple, I always believed that we would get pregnant naturally. We started when I was 29 and Brian was 27. When we first met with our fertility doctor, we were labeled “unexplained” and that singular word has haunted us for our entire journey.
I began to wonder if the answer would ever come.
Sometimes it has no rhyme or reason. I spent a lot of time keeping my struggles a secret, battling shame and embarrassment. The truth is that this is a journey that so many women go through and it truly takes warriors, strength and resilience to get through to the other side. In a way, I believe the process of fertility is the biggest sacrifice a woman can make for her child. Not all endings are happy like ours, some leads to families in other ways, all of which are beautiful. How badly must someone want children in order to go through this journey? It is so difficult and unspeakably hard at times- it produces an amazing group of warriors.
I am empowered and inspired by so many women who continue to share their stories.
It was very difficult for me to start talking about what I had been through. Once I did, I found an amazing community of women who went or are actively going through a similar journey to me. The mainstream media does not recognize the intense struggle to motherhood that so many of us face. It is something that must be normalized in both the struggles and triumphs.
I could not have gotten through this process without the support of the incredible doctors and nurses who never gave up on me.
In addition, my wonderful mother and mother-in-law were huge supporters along my journey and always remained a light even when my world felt dark. My incredible sister always added a dose of humor, support and love that I desperately needed along the way. Through it all, my husband always encouraged me to advocate for myself, my care and my health. My journey to motherhood is a direct testament to the support of my partner, spouse and biggest champion, my husband.
Through all the hardships, the future’s looking brighter than ever!
We are expecting our twin girls in less than two months and we are counting down the days until we can hold them in our arms. I have personally tried to enjoy and embrace every single moment of pregnancy, even the not so fun symptoms that come along with it.
I wake up every single day incredibly grateful for the power and strength of my body.
It is unbelievable that I am growing two little human beings inside of me. To all those who read this, I think it is important to know that the journey to becoming a mother is not always direct. Whether it takes a month, a year or several- the mountain is climbable and there are thousands of people silently cheering you on as they go through the same challenges you are facing. Remember, it is all worth it in the end!
Follow Dayna’s journey to motherhood on her Instagram page @artsandfood!